(Sung to the Ballad of Jed Clampett from The Beverly Hillbillies)
Come listen to a story ’bout a snake named Fred,
And the fateful day he met a man named Ed.
He was cornered by a dog with its house as a shield,
Ed saved the day and threw him in the field.
Flung. Really Hard. Diiiizy.
After awhile Fred began to come around,
He slithered away – really making up ground.
But he tried to cross the road without fear or dread,
Along came a car and crushed his little head.
Flat. Really Dead. Oooozy.
Fred left behind a wife and a child,
Wilma and Pebbles left to struggle in the wild.
But they’ll be okay ’cause Fred’s gonna be,
Plot line of Final Destination # 3.
Famed. Movie Star. Hisssstory.